[Bell Clanging]
Hey, Charlie: Your lawyer's here with the bail money:
Tell him I ain't in:
You're what?
You heard me: Tell him I ain't in:
[Man Narrating] That man with the pencil is the real star of this picture:
He was a writer- many kinds of a writer:
A social critic, a humorist and a technician:
His name was William Sidney Porter: : :
But you’ll remember him by his pen name:
That’s part of our language now- O: Henry:
I'm a writer too: My name is John Steinbeck:
I've always believed that a writer should be read, not seen:
But O: Henry's dead: He can't speak for himself:
I wonder if he would if he could:
Remember O: Henry’s safecracker, Jimmy Valentine?
Little boys still want to grow up to be like the Cisco Kid, the Robin Hood of the West:
Our folklore is full of O: Henry- his courage and his gaiety and his people:
He wrote so many good stories, it's hard to choose:
- (music)[Women Singing] - Here's one in point:
- (music)[Ends] - "The Cop and the Anthem:" You wanna hear it?
"When wild geese honk high of nights: : :
And ladies without fur coats grow kind to their husbands: : :
Then you may know that winter is near at hand: : :
And that the time has come to resolve oneself into a Committee of Ways and Means: : :
To provide against the coming rigors:
Lf, in addition, one is a denizen of the city’s parks: : :
Like our good friend Soapy here: : :
The need is not only great, but a state of real emergency may be said to exist:"
[Grunts] Yes, Officer: Certainly:
At once:
[Wind Whistling]
Good morning, Mr.Throckmorton!
Ah, good morning, Trousdale
- Kind of chilly, ain't it? - Bracing, my boy: Bracing:
Have you made any plans for the winter yet, Mr.Throckmorton?
- You may call me Soapy, Horace: - Thank you, sir: Have you?
- Naturally: - You ain't thinkin' of going to jail again, are ya?
- And why not? - Because jails ain't what they used to be:
They're lettin' 'em run down something awful:
They say almost anybody can get in 'em nowadays:
My dear fellow, you must not listen to every rumor you hear:
From long experience, I can assure you that our fair city boasts: : :
Of no finer institution than its penal system:
What is more to the point, I am a man of simple, if discriminating, tastes:
Three months in jail, safe from wind and snow: : :
And the bludgeons of the blue-coated minions of the law:
Good morning, Officer: Three months, I say: : :
Uh, of assured bed, board and congenial company: : :
At the city's expense are all that I ask of life:
I don't know, Soapy: To me, jail's jail:
(music)[Small Band, People Singing]
I'm, uh, considering Florida myself:
Florida, that crass, unspeakable place, the Coney Island of the tropics?
Fit only for millionaires and reluctant witnesses? No, my friend:
For 15 years now, a hospitable, luxurious: : :
Well-heated cell has been my winter quarters:
I would not swap one night of it for a full season at Palm Beach:
A fellow was telling me that these people run: : :
Some nice places downtown for dependents like us:
(music)[All Singing]
Charity? No, thank you: I'll take the law over philanthropy any day:
For every benefit received at the hands of charity, one must pay-
if not in coin, at least in humiliation of spirit:
For every bed, there is the toll of a bath:
Nor, may I add, does the law insist on prayer: : :
Morning, noon and night:
How are you going to work it this year, Soapy?
Oh, there are devious ways, my friend:
Wait here:
(music)[Continues]
- Say, look here! That's my umbrella! - Oh, it is, is it?
- Yes, l- - Suppose you call a policeman and tell him that:
Go on: Call him:
There's one at the corner:
Why don't you call him and tell him I took your umbrella?
- If you don't, I will: Officer- - I'm sorry, but you know how these things happen:
I picked it up in a restaurant this morning, by mistake, of course:
If you recognize it as your umbrella, I hope you'll excuse me:
Dirty crook:
There are other ways, my friend, one of these being first to satisfy the inner man:
Shall we go?
No, no, no: Ah:
What are you gonna order, Soapy?
How 'bout some, uh, roast mallard duck to begin with: : :
Accompanied by a bottle of Chablis wine, provided the year and vintage are right:
- Duck for breakfast? - Breakfast, by all means:
After which, perhaps, uh, a Camembert, coffee and, unquestionably, a cigar:
Under the circumstances, I would think a dollar cigar would be just about right:
A whole dollar for one cigar?
My dear fellow, upon such occasions as this, one cannot afford to be niggardly:
Wait for me there on the curb:
[Sighs]
[Belches]
[Sniffs]
- Yes, sir? - Cigar, please:
- Yes, sir: Any particular brand, sir? - Your best:
Yes, sir:
- Enjoy your breakfast, sir? - The duck was slightly overdone:
I do suggest you speak to your chef about that:
- Oh, yes, sir: Certainly, sir: - [Sniffs]
- It's inferior: Is this your choice brand? - Yes, sir:
- It is? - Allow me, sir:
- [Mutters] - Will there be anything else, sir?
- Just my check, please: - Yes, sir: The check:
Yes, sir: Check coming up:
[Sighs]
[Sniffs]
It may interest you to know, my good man: : :
That I and the minutest coin of the realm are total strangers:
- Uh, how's that? - I said I was broke:
Don't just stand there with your adenoids showing: Go and call a cop:
- What's the matter? - He says he isn't going to pay for it:
- He hasn't got any money: - No money?
No money:
- Come on, you- - Come on, you thief! :
- What do you think, coming in here- - [Shouting]
Oh! What are you doing to that man?
- He- He hasn't any money: - After eating everything on the menu too:
- Is this true? - They neglected to add: : :
That I also ordered a dollar cigar:
Although I must say that any resemblance between it and tobacco is purely coincidental:
- A cop will know what to do with his kind: - Never mind: Let him go:
- Let him go? - You heard what I said: It's on the house:
- You stay out of this: Nobody asked your opinion: - Poor devil's probably starving:
Get him outside as quietly as you can: I don't want any trouble:
Trouble? You don't want any trouble?
Listen, you nincompoop: I don't want any of your charity:
I am a citizen: I stand on my constitutional rights!
I insist on being arrested: Do you understand me? Arrested!
- Outside! - No! You can't do this to me!
Have me arrested, you dogs! Have me arrested!
- [Grunts] - Soapy!
- What happened? - I've been double-crossed:
- Are you hurt? - Physically, no:
- Didn't work, eh? - Due to circumstances beyond my control, no:
However, I'm not discouraged:
Two battles lost does not mean that the war is lost:
It only means that some other way than through the stomach must be thought of:
- Shall we leave this loathsome neighborhood? - Take this with you!
[Bell Dings]
- Are you hurt? - No, thank you:
Gosh: Your umbrella: Are you all right?
I ought to report you for this banana:
Oh, I'm sorry, sir:
- What was that? - Call the police!
- Police! - [Clamoring]
- Who threw it there? - I did:
- Which way did he go? - There! There he goes!
- Hold that man! - Hey, wait a minute: I did it!
Hey, come back! I did it!
E-Excuse me: You forgot this:
[Clears Throat] Good afternoon, my dear:
Aren't you a little lonely window-shopping all by yourself?
Wouldn't you prefer to come and play in my backyard?
Sure, I don't mind, if you buy me a drink:
How's dear cousin Fanny? [Laughing]
L-I'm afraid, my dear, there's been a mistake:
Mistake? What kind of mistake?
- I owe you an apology: - Apology for what?
For allowing you to think that I might buy you a drink: That's quite impossible:
I haven't got a dime to my name:
- Hey, what is this? You trying to kid me? - Not in the least, my dear:
I'm only trying to undo the wrong I've done you-
a wrong committed, I might add, for reasons that your young: : :
And inexperienced mind couldn't possibly understand:
Since my means are limited, I can only ask your pardon: : :
Perhaps persuade you to accept, as a token of my regard: : :
The last, uh, valuable left to me from a once formidable estate:
My compliments to a charming and delightful young lady:
What's going on here? What's happening?
He called me a lady:
[Sniffles]
(music)[Organ]
Think of it: Thousands of them swinging their blasted clubs: : :
Walking their blasted beats: : :
Doing nothing but eat up the taxpayers' money:
All day long I've flaunted the law in their faces: : :
And not a one of them- not a single one, mind you-
has lifted a little finger to prevent it:
I've a good mind to write to my congressman:
You going to the park again tonight, Soapy?
Where else can I go?
There isn't any hurry:
[Sighs]
[Chuckles] Listen to the music:
(music)[Organ Continues]
I seem to remember that tune from somewhere:
No? Well, this might be a country churchyard: : :
Such as I knew in my youth: : :
In the days when life contained such things as mothers and roses: : :
Ambition and friends, immaculate thoughts: : :
And Little Lord Fauntleroy collars:
(music)[Choir Singing]
Let's go in for a moment and enjoy the peace:
- (music)[Continues] - Me?
The front door is open The invitation is obvious:
(music)[Ends]
(music)[New Song]
- (music)[Continues] - [Gasps, Sobs]
- [Sniffles] - What's the matter, Soapy?
[Sobs]
[Crying]
[Sobbing]
Ain't you feeling good, Soapy?
Hey, maybe tomorrow will be different:
Maybe if you was to try somewhere else: : :
Like Central Park maybe or Wall Street:
There'll be no tomorrow- at least no tomorrow as you imagine it:
That phase of my life has ended:
You sure you feeling good, Soapy?
Maybe if you was to go back and sit down again:
It isn't my body that's sick: It's my soul:
For the first time in my life: : :
I've viewed the horrible pit into which I've tumbled-
the degraded days, unworthy desires: : :
Dead hopes, wrecked faculties, base motives: : :
That have made up my useless existence! [Sobbing]
I wasn't gonna tell you, Soapy, but I got 30 cents a lady give me:
- I'll buy ya a beer: - It isn't beer that I need:
It's hope, faith: : :
The assurance that it's still not too late to pull myself out of the mire: : :
To make a man of myself again: : :
To conquer the evil that's taken possession of me!
We better get out of here: If somebody was to hear you talking like that: : :
There's no telling what we'd have to go through:
People praying over us, preaching to us:
But there is time: I'm still comparatively young:
Resurrect my old and eager ambitions: : :
And pursue them without faltering:
I'll give up this life of dissipation and idleness: [Blows Nose]
Tomorrow I'll go into the roaring downtown district and find work:
I recall a fur merchant: : :
Who once offered me a position:
I think I must have his card about me somewhere:
I'll find him, lay my plight before him, seek his aid:
Yes, here is his card:
I recall his kindly face:
A noble man, if ever I met one:
He'll give me a job: He'll help me make something of myself:
- I'll be somebody in the world! - Okay, come along:
- Huh? Officer, what have I done? - Never mind: Come along:
Don't give me any of your lip, or I'll bash in that skull of yours:
Come on!
(music)[Choir Ends]
Loitering, eh? Guilty or not guilty?
Your Honor, if it pleases the court-
One of those argumentative types, eh?
- Where did you pick him up? - Comin' out of church:
- Church? - Your Honor, I'd just stepped in to refresh my soul:
I'd just undergone the most salutary spiritual experience:
I'm a reformed man, and l- Today I'd planned to apply for a position:
- Find any candlesticks on him? - Oh, no, Your Honor: I assure you:
- Maybe he was trying to rob the poor box: - Oh, no, Your Honor:
I didn't find a thing on him- not even a dime:
- Ninety days: - For what?
Vagrancy- no visible means of support:
- Next case: - (music)[Choir Singing]
(music)[Ends]
O: Henry learned about jail the hard way-
in jail:
He did his research on an iron cot, listening to his cell mates:
He never felt superior to the people he wrote about:
And maybe it’s that humility that draws us to his stories again and again:
Here's one of the best, "The Clarion Call:"
"Half of this story can be found in the records of the police department:
There is no record of the other half: :
But it belongs behind the doors of the editorial office: : :
Of a New York newspaper:"
[Train Passing]
Well, welcome back: How'd it go?
- I got him there: - Good:
- Nine: - Uh, 18:
Hi, Chief:
Hello, Barney:
One counterfeiter delivered to federal prison, Leavenworth, Kansas:
- And now I'm bushed: - No wonder: Long trip, handcuffed for five days:
Uh-uh: Not that long:
I took the handcuffs off outside Newark:
He was an old man of 70, going in for good:
That train ride was his last chance to stretch his legs:
You look tired: Take some time: Lay out till Monday:
Thanks: They found some more counterfeit in the old boy's shoe:
The warden ducked and asked us to turn it over to the downtown treasury:
Hundred-dollar bills? [Whistles]
- Beautiful job: - Almost perfect:
They trapped him on the picture:
The old goat parted Franklin's hair on the left side:
- Said it looked better: - [Chuckles]
You signed for it, you keep it: We'll send it down Monday:
- Get some rest: - Thanks:
Does this belong to you?
No, that's a clue in the Norcross murder case:
Robbery knockdown: Happened while you were away:
None of that means anything: No fingerprints, no nothing:
Must be an out-of-town killer:
I know everybody's work around here:
Looks expensive: Where'd you find it?
On the rug in Norcross's room:
Whoever killed him left it: There's some printing on it:
Yeah: "Camptown Races:
July the fourth, 1901:"
Doesn’t mean a thing:
It's a nice tune though- "Camptown Races:"
Mind if I check it out a while?
Sure, sure:
If you think you can do any better: It's our only lead:
I used to sing it myself in the old days:
[Quoting Lyric]
A good quartet number:
[Train Passing]
(music)[Men Singing]
(music)[Ends]
- (music)[Saloon Piano] - Do you happen to know Johnny Kernan?
- Who? - Kernan: Johnny Kernan:
No, I don't believe I do:
Thanks:
(music)[Woman Singing]
(music)[Ends]
- Something I can do for you? - No, thanks:
There: It's Johnny Kernan:
But he's only been registered a week:
- Maybe it isn't the same one: - [Raucous Laughing]
It's the same one:
Look, I'm not full owner: There isn't gonna be any trouble:
[Laughing Continues]
He’s the best wrestler I ever saw:
Whenever the referee ain't lookin', he gets 'em:
- [Laughing] - Give me a beer:
- How’s the bock holding out? - Fine, fine:
- [Grunts] - Guess who! [Laughing]
- Guess who! Go ahead! Guess: Guess who: Guess who: - I don't have to guess:
[Laughing]
- Hello, Johnny: - [Laughing]
The big man, Barney Woods:
I bet you'd have known me anywhere by that trick, huh?
I'd have known you anywhere:
Give him a big drink: We're old pals from back in Erie, P: A:
- Long time ago, huh, Barney? - Yeah:
He ordered a beer:
- [Glass Shatters] - He just finished it:
- Now get him a real drink: - Yes, sir:
Clam head! Oughta give him a mouthful of knuckles:
[Chuckles, Laughing]
What about the old bunch back at the hotel? See Gimp Charlie much?
Oh, I lost track years ago: I've been living here for a long time:
No foolin'! Wish I did:
I'm just passing through: Going to Chicago tonight:
Hey, uh, whatever happened to, uh, uh, Hazel- Hazel? Was that her name?
- Yeah: I married her: - No foolin'!
Bet you got a ton of kids by now, huh? [Laughing]
Oh, that was some place around the Star-Union Hotel:
Remember Sore Jaw Weber, huh?
And the singin'! We must have did a hundred songs:
- Hey, you: - Yeah?
- You know "Sweet Genevieve"? - A little:
A little! Clam head! That's one of the best songs there was!
Don't forget the "Camptown Races:"
The best: The best! The best! The absolute best!
- You know that one? - Yeah:
Yeah: Him and me won a prize doing that one: Quartet out at the picnic grounds:
Go ahead: Start it up:
Go on! Open your throat! Start! Sing, will you?
- (music)[Humming] - [Honking Sounds] Sing!
Come on! Sing!
- (music)[Singing] - (music)[All Join In]
(music)[Ends]
Ah, that's good, huh? Wish we had the Doc and Jonesy for balance though:
[Laughs]
Come on, ya monkey! Clap! That was good:
Clap!
Okay:
[Laughing] How 'bout "Heart of My Heart"?
Oh, I don't know, Johnny: Why don't we go somewhere where we can talk?
Sure, sure: The old times, huh?
Come on upstairs: I got a jug:
We'll belt a few, have the old times all over again, huh?
I doubt it: We had 'em once: We can belt a few anyway:
[Laughing] Sure:
(music)[Piano Playing Blues]
Look at you: [Murmuring]
[Door Slams Shut]
What are you doing here?
Get out! Get out:
Go to your room! We wanna talk!
Can I stay and talk too, Johnny?
Move, or I'll knock some of that fat off of you!
[Chuckling]
What a nerve, huh?
- What do you want? - The kitten: I've got to have something to do:
Yeah, kitten!
Here: Now, get out!
Now, where's the food, huh?
Ah, here it is:
For a man that's just passing through, you've got all the comforts of home:
I always manage to keep a jug handy:
I'll get this glass cleaned up a little bit:
Well, bring me up to date:
You still doing hotel work?
No, Johnny: Police work:
Detective, 16th Precinct:
Well, what do you know?
Honor bright:
Well, you got the right trainin':
I still remember Barney Woods: : :
Best speller in the third grade:
What about you, Johnny? Still as restless as ever?
I manage to live: We can't all be good spellers:
Here:
I'll trade you:
It's yours: Mine's at home:
[Chuckles] That was a good quartet, huh?
First prize we ever got- four gold pencils:
- Wonder what happened to Doc's: - I don't know:
But yours was on the floor of the Norcross house:
- [Chuckles] - Pack your linen, Johnny:
Wait a minute, friend:
- [Groans] - I can still take you:
[Train Passing]
Now, get up:
Get out of that coat:
Throw it over here:
[Drawer Opens]
[Chuckling]
I always was born a few minutes ahead of you, Barney:
Where'd you get all this steam?
I knew you had a little trouble upstate, a little bank work-
- But murder? - Ring off! : Ring off: Ring off:
Don't get sentimental about some old guy neither of us ever met:
Gun or no gun, Johnny, I'm gonna have to take you in:
Why? Why, huh?
You're the only one who could connect me with that pencil:
That's right:
Then let's pretend this is one you never heard about:
Sorry:
[Chuckles] You ain't gonna take me in:
- Why? - If you were me, you'd take me in:
But you ain't: You're honor bright:
You're dumb Barney Woods:
You've got a debt to square:
Don't count on something that happened that long ago:
It'll never be long ago for you, Barney: Don't kid me:
It'll always be right now:
The backroom of the Star-Union Hotel:
The hour and the night: : :
And the pail of beer that caused it:
It’s in your eyes right now-
- the trouble you were in: - (music)[Quartet Singing]
You couldn’t afford to lose money you didn’t have:
You were on probation:
You’d been a bad boy, but people were willin"to forget about it:
After all, it was just a slip:
But you couldn’t stand another one:
That state pen down at Harrisburg was a little too close:
One more slip'd get you a train ticket: : :
And a nice new suit of clothes:
- (music)[Continues] - Well, you made it that night:
You wrote out a check for a thousand dollars you didn’t have:
(music)[Ends]
[Johnny] The next morning you had all the trouble you needed:
That’s the size of it, Barney: You were on your way up:
A loser: And don’t kid yourself:
You’d have stayed a loser:
"Cause once they make you walk up an alley: : :
You’d never use a front door again:
So I bailed you out:
You stammered and said you didn’t know when you could pay it back:
I said, "I'll wait: "
So I'm waitin":
And now I want my thousand:
That’s what I said, pal: "There’ll come a day:"
And here it is: [Chuckling]
How 'bout that drink now, huh? Come on: Come on:
You can afford it: I'm buying:
Oh, you don't drink on duty, huh?
Copper:
Look at ya:
Look at that suit, those shoes:
You couldn't pay back 10% of it:
- What do you make, 40 a month? - A little more than that:
You were a cop from the start:
- You've always had your hat in your hand: - Is that all?
It is if you can't pay up:
Maybe some other time:
If you had any belly, you'd take me in right now:
But that little favor out in the past sticks in your craw:
It's there to remind you what a naughty boy you were:
If you ever get in the way of some money, look me up, huh?
[Johnny Laughing]
(music)[Piano]
[Slurping Liquid]
Well, well, well! Look who's here:
The big man: [Chuckling]
Sit down: Let me buy you a drink:
Hello, Johnny:
I never knew of a good thief that'd touch liquor:
- Makes you bigmouthed: - This is a special occasion: Very special:
I'm catching the night train for Chicago:
[Giggling]
Did you follow me here?
No:
I've got part of the money, Johnny- nearly $300:
- I want you to take it: - Stop kidding: Stop kidding:
A debt's a debt:
If you give somebody a hand, you don't give them your little finger:
You give them your whole hand:
It's a thousand or nothing:
Look, how long do you think you can get away with this sort of thing?
Take a tip from me: Give yourself up:
Put in a plea: Go light:
I'm light now: I'm light: Can't you see?
You're the only one could put a hand on me:
No, you're all wrong:
Police files are never dead, Johnny:
- Some cop somewhere, he'll get a line on you: - Nah!
Could be anybody anywhere: Could- Could be somebody like that?
- Yeah, they could put a finger on you: - Who's that?
It's Dave Bascom
He's the city editor of The Clarion-Call:
Newsboys! Bunch of clam heads, all of them!
They got nothin' on me:
Hey:
You a city editor?
I work on a paper:
[Chuckles] Big bunch of crime solvers, ain't ya?
What about the Norcross murder? What have you done?
- We've got a man working on it: - Sure, sure!
Big crime stoppers: What's he done, huh? What's he done?
Did he check with a cab driver down at 34th and Fifth? No, he didn't check:
Did he check with a lady across the street who saw a man go in the house? No!
Clam head didn't do nothin' right: Nothin'!
Nothin': [Chuckling]
- Is that all? - Ain't that enough?
Big crime reporters:
Couldn't find a hangnail if they told you what hand it was on:
[Chuckling]
Clam head: [Chuckles]
That was a mistake: He's one of the best heads on Herald Square:
Oh, you don't think that meant anything, do you?
The cabbie and the lady across the street?
I went in the back way:
I just wanted to show he was a clam head: That's all:
[Chuckling Continues]
I'm afraid you're too smart for us, Johnny:
I'm sick of looking at you, Barney:
Go somewhere:
- Good luck, John: - You don't mean that, pal:
No, you're wrong:
I wouldn't wish you bad luck: You'll have enough of that:
Hmm!
Hmm:
- What's your name? - Frank:
- Where do you live? - 221 East Fifth Street:
- I thought I told you to take a breather: - You did, sir:
But I was in the neighborhood: Besides, I've got something I want to talk to you about:
- It's personal: - Sure: I'll be with you in a minute:
[Man] Look, this is the third time in the last two weeks you’ve-
- [Chattering] - [Man #2] You know how it is:
[Train Passing]
All right, Barney: What can I do for you?
Barney?
It's getting steadily worse:
We've now hit rock bottom:
Hoodlums, vandals, criminals of every stripe: : :
Have turned our police power into a laughingstock:
- It's become a huge public joke: - [Door Closes]
Mr.Bascom: There’s a man here from the police department:
- Says he wants to see you: He says it's urgent: - Send him in:
Hello, Barney:
[No Audible Dialogue]
[Announcer] Westbound Limited:
- Chicago, Omaha, Denver- - Here you go, tar bucket:
Los Angeles, San Francisco:
[Chuckles]
I've got something for you:
[Laughing]
Where'd you get it?
Where'd a cop like you pick up a thousand dollars in clean hundreds?
Never mind where I got it: Just count it:
I trust you, Barney: I trust you:
The important thing is, where does this leave us?
We're all square:
Fair enough: Fair enough: Fair enough, huh?
So we start from scratch:
- Go ahead: Take me in: - [Grunts]
- [Groans] - [Chuckling]
- Just so we'll end even, good luck, Barney: - [Clicking]
Save your strength:
You got a broken firing pin:
Up in that hotel room:
You don't think I'd give you a healthy gun?
Give me that:
Get over here:
Get out:
Step over it, you clam head:
(music)[Men Singing]
(music)[Ends]
O: Henry was born in North Carolina:
He moved to Texas when he was 20:
He bummed all over the Southwest, the Gulf ports: : :
Even the banana republics of Central America:
He was 40 when he reached New York, and he loved the city:
Called it "Baghdad on the Subway:"
New York gave him a new Arabian Nights:
Look at this one he called "The Last Leaf:"
The setting? Greenwich Village:
The time? Winter:
The condition? A blizzard:
This was the village of low rents and high art: : :
Where poverty and ambition held hands:
But also life went on: : :
And death went on: : :
And love went on:
And sometimes love stopped:
[No Audible Dialogue]
[Wind Whistling]
Whoa! Whoa!
Joanna: It's about time you got back:
Your sister got so wild, she almost called up the police:
Susan! Susan!
Jo!
Well, how is she, Doctor?
[Doctor] Pneumonia:
[Door Closes]
I'll look by in the morning:
Thank you, Doctor:
- Will she be all right? - Oh, she's young:
No reason why she shouldn't pull through:
Good day:
Pneumonia:
And all because of that actor:
- I warned her against him hundred times: - Shh
- I know men like him like I know colors: - Mr.Behrman
Ah! Would she listen to me, to the man who knows everything: : :
Who has been everyplace and seen everything?
- Mr.Behrman, please: - Oh, yes, I know what you and your sister think of me:
Just an old goat who lives upstairs and makes a lot of noise on the ceiling:
- Mr.Behrman, will you please be quiet? - What is the matter with you?
Why are you so excited? You heard what the doctor said:
She's young: She will pull through well: She'll be all right:
It'll be a good lesson for her:
Now, you stay here, and I'll take care of this:
- I was going to the art dealer anyway: - Thank you:
Mr.Behrman- Tell the druggist to charge it:
Yeah: Actors: I hate actors more than I hate poison!
[Coughing]
The doctor says it's nothing:
Just a couple of days rest:
Of course, he thinks you ought to be spanked for going out in such weather:
Sue: I'm so ashamed:
Why should you be?
Oh, sure, your pride's hurt now:
Six months from now you'll be laughing about it if you even remember:
Now close your eyes and go to sleep:
I can't:
Nonsense: Of course you can:
You don't understand:
L-
I haven't told you everything: : :
About Sheldon and me, I mean:
You don't have to:
I think I've known for a long time:
What you must think of me:
L- I feel like-
Look, baby, it isn't the end of the world: : :
Because-well, you made a mistake:
What we both need is a change of scene:
Oh:
[Sobbing]
[Coughing]
I'll pick it up in five minutes:
[Wind Whistling]
[Bells Jingling]
- Behrman, not again: - Now, look here, Boris:
You can take my word: : :
Of a man who is independently poor:
I've done exactly everything the way you told me:
I bought an apple, I bought a pear, and I bought a banana:
And I put it all in a bowl and I started to paint:
Just like you told me: Look:
Another Behrman:
Ai, yi, yi, yi, yi, yi!
Behrman: Maybe you are ahead of your time:
Maybe in 1950 they will recognize it for what it is-
whatever it is:
But my customers only like paintings they can recognize:
All arts must communicate:
And yours doesn't say anything to anybody who comes in here:
Look here, Boris: What you've got on your walls, a camera can do much better:
- I know, I know: - No comparison!
For once, why don't you paint something that people can see what they're looking at?
- You can do me a great favor- don't tell me what to paint: - Behrman, please:
We are old friends, huh? Try again:
Go back and paint an apple: : :
A banana and a pear:
- I can't! - Why not?
I ate them:
Look here: Would you buy this Behrman: : :
If I give you my sacred word of honor that I will try again?
All right: Three dollars:
Three dollars for a Behrman? You always pay me five:
Business is bad:
Well, then you cannot afford it even for three dollars:
I'd rather starve until 1950, if necessary:
Three dollars for a Behrman! Who does he think I am?
- [Bells Jingling] - [Mutters]
Well, it's all ready: That'll be two dollars:
- All right: Charge it to Miss Goodwin: - Miss Goodwin:
Sorry, sir: No more credit:
What are you talking about? The girl is sick, and you're talking about credit?
I only work here: I've got my orders:
All right: Wrap it up: I'll be back in a minute:
I am coming into a small inheritance:
[Bells Jingling]
I've treated a great many patients, Miss Goodwin:
Some accomplish miracles: : :
Because their will to live is the best medicine they could find:
There's also a will to die:
I could save your sister if she wanted me to: : :
But she doesn't:
Whatever the reason, she isn't helping me:
You must be wrong, Doctor: She has so much to live for:
Mmm If you can convince her of that, she'd pass the crisis:
I can only do so much:
[Door Closes]
Well!
- The broth will be warm in a minute: - I'm not hungry:
Another one:
What?
- You know, it's funny: - What's funny?
Oh, the things you notice when you're ill:
Things you never noticed before:
Like what?
Like that ivy vine across the court:
What about it?
Yesterday I counted exactly 21 leaves on it:
- Don't you think that's funny? - Why funny?
Don't you see? I'm 21:
Now there are only 14:
I'm getting younger:
[Quiet Coughing]
In a day or so, they'll all be gone:
And when the last leaf goes-
That's funny too, isn't it?
The way things live: : :
Die:
Oh, but it's good to be alive, Jo!
You believe that, don't you, baby?
I'm so tired, Sue:
You take a nap:
It'll do you a world of good:
- Don't- Don't do that: - I just want to darken the room:
I like to look outside when I wake up:
You will try to get some sleep, won't you?
I'll try:
[Coughs]
- [Angry Grunt] - [Object Shattering]
That old goat!
- It doesn't bother me, Sue: - [Shattering]
Well, it bothers me:
[Train Passing]
[Angry Grunt]
- [Knocking] - Come in!
How's your sister?
If you really cared, I wouldn't have to be here again:
Oh, yes, I know: I'm making so much noise:
But, you see, when I paint: : :
I get so mad with myself that l- I forget myself:
Is she really so sick, huh? I thought by now she-
- No: - What's wrong with her?
I don't know:
She's got some crazy idea about the leaves: : :
On the vine across the court:
What kind of a crazy idea?
I think she- Oh, it's so hard to explain:
But- But somehow she feels that the vine has something to do with her life: : :
That-
that when all the leaves go: : :
She'll go:
[Clicks Tongue]
Look, Susan, this is all absolutely crazy:
I know it sounds silly, but: : : The way she talked about the vine just now:
Look, now, you're- you're tired:
You haven't slept all these nights, and all this is making you sick too:
If you could have heard her-
Maybe you're right:
- Maybe I am beginning to imagine things: - Of course you are:
Now, look, you go to your sister: : :
And I promise you I'll be as quiet as a mouse:
A dead one:
Hey! No more of these crazy ideas:
All right:
[Train Passing]
Jo! Jo!
Those leaves don't mean a thing:
You're going to get well, baby:
You're going to get well!
We should know by morning:
- (music)[Man Singing In Italian] - [Footsteps Approaching]
(music)[Continues]
- Behrman! - I'm sorry:
I'm just a little bit tipsy: Now, just-
Go on, sing! It's a happy occasion:
What do you care about Joanna?
You've done everything you could to keep her from getting well:
[Sobbing]
I don't ask you to forgive me: L-
I just want you to understand:
Please, go away:
It's only today that: : :
For the first time, I finally realized what I really am:
A three-dollar painter:
No more, no less:
My paintings, they've got nothing to say to nobody:
And I know why:
It is because I got nothing to say:
And when an artist knows: : :
There's nothing left for him to do but just to drown himself:
I'm sorry: I'm sorry:
Mr.Behrman, I'm so upset, I don't know what I'm saying half the time:
Don't worry, Susan:
You really didn't say nothing that wasn't true:
What are we going to do?
I was right about the leaves:
There's just one left now:
It'll be gone by morning, and when Jo wakes up-
But that kind of thing can't happen, can it?
It- It just can't happen:
Have courage, Susan:
And if a prayer of an old goat will help: : :
Your sister will get well:
Don't worry: She'll get well: She'll get well:
(music)[Singing In Italian]
- Susan? - Here I am, Jo:
Let me see the leaves:
- No, not now: - But I want to know:
- Later, Jo: Later: - Please, Sue:
It hung on, Jo, right through the storm:
Isn't that something?
And if one brave little leaf can do it: : :
You can do it too:
How do you feel?
I'm hungry, Doctor:
Well, that's the first sense you've made in days:
- Some broth? - Yeah:
Well, I'll- I'll stop by tonight: : :
Uh, just to say hello:
[Door Opens, Closes]
- Sue? - Yes?
Could l- Could I have my mirror and my brush?
Oh, Sue! [Sobbing]
[Bell Ringing]
What's going on?
I'll find out:
[Footsteps Running]
- What is it, Mrs O'Brien? - Why, it's the old man:
- That artist fellow upstairs in 3-B: - Mr.Behrman?
He was drunk last night, staggering around in the snow:
I saw him kneeling on the ground as though he were a dog or something:
- What happened? - An old man his age in the snow for hours?
His heart gave out: They found him this morning: He's dead:
Oh, he was crazy like all them artists:
Imagine, in the middle of the night, he come and asked me for a lantern:
Oh, but he was a nice old coot at that, you know?
[Chattering]
What is it, Sue?
[Thumping]
- Behrman? - Yes:
[Muttering]
What happened?
He died last night:
Oh:
- Poor old Behrman: - Yes:
Poor old Behrman:
It won't be the same without all that noise upstairs-
stomping around, breaking things every time he finished a painting:
He was a good friend of ours, Jo:
Too bad he wasn’t a better artist:
I could never make head or tail out of anything he ever painted:
I think you're wrong, Jo:
He was a great artist:
Someday I'll tell you how great:
[Bell Ringing]
O: Henry had been, at one time or another: : :
A druggist, cowboy, bookkeeper, reporter, editor:
To O: Henry, no one was too good to slip or too bad to climb:
Consider "The Ransom of Red Chief:"
It happens in rural Alabama in the early 1900s:
[Backfiring]
There you are, William: Six miles to our destination:
Just about the right distance away:
Let's take a look over this way:
[Backfiring]
- This looks like a likely spot: - Not to me:
William, this is a perfect hideaway:
Look, a cave, running water, all the comforts of home:
Mmm: I don't like any place that hasn't got a door on it:
A nice, quiet spot to spend a few days:
And nights: Slick, have you ever slept out of doors?
William, don't tell me you're afraid of the country:
There's nothing I'm not afraid of, especially the country:
- Why, every time I see a-What's that? - [Twig Snaps]
- What is it? - William, don't act like a child:
It's nothing but a squirrel or a cat of some sort:
Well, do something: Get rid of it! Hurry up!
Go away, pussy: Go away: Nice pussy:
Go away, pussy: Go on, go on, go on!
[Shooing]
You see, it's nothing if you're not afraid:
But I am:
Never let an animal know that you're afraid:
It's no use: They seem to sense it somehow:
Come on: Let's unload the provisions and get into town:
You know, Slick, I think we should give up the whole scheme:
- It worries me: - Why?
Kidnapping: It's against the law:
You can't go around throwing sacks over strangers' heads:
You weren't worried about the law when we sold that oil stock up there in Peoria:
That was different: They were old friends of ours: We knew them intimately:
There's something impersonal about an oil well: I wouldn't know one if I saw it:
An oil well is a hole in the ground surrounded by suckers:
Mmm: I still think kidnapping's no way to raise money:
That gets down to a matter of opinion:
Which one of us is the smarter?
How many times have you been in jail, William?
- Six times: - I have only been incarcerated twice:
So the answer is obvious:
I don't like it: It involves children:
We need money: We have all that little bonanza gold mine stock you had printed: : :
And we can't sell it without a nugget:
Now, Joe Collins has a nugget that's as big as a cobblestone:
We've gotta raise enough money to buy that nugget:
- Will he trust ya? - Not again:
You insist that kidnapping is the only solution:
William, for a quick, safe return on your investment: : :
You simply cannot beat kidnapping:
I regard it as even a sounder proposition than swindling widows and orphans:
And that is particularly true down here in this Peruna-and-chitlins country: : :
For the natives down here share one outstanding weakness:
- They love their children: - It's too risky:
Suppose you kidnap an orphan? Who pays to get him back?
William, don't be so pessimistic:
- You know anything about children? - Only one thing:
Children have to do what grown-ups tell them to do: : :
Because we're bigger than they are:
- I don't like it: - William, we're procrastinating:
Let's finish unloading this stuff and get into town and find our victim:
[Dog Barking]
- [Backfiring] - [Whinnying]
[Backfiring Continues]
- Mornin', folks: - Mornin':
We'd like to get a little water for our car:
- Sure: - And some information, please:
Pete'll get you the water: What do you wanna know, mister?
Say, mighty nice country you got around here:
- Sure is pretty: - Is it?
If a person wanted to buy some of this land, who'd he have to see?
Why do you wanna buy the land for?
- What do you wanna raise? - It ain't good for much:
You want bottom land or, uh, hill country?
Uh, which is better?
Well, it depends upon what you want it for:
- Bottom land: - Reckon Eb Dorset could fix you up:
He's foreclosed on about as much land as anybody else:
But why do you wanna buy the land for?
Eb Dorset? Which Dorset is that?
Well, there ain't only one Dorset, and that's Eb:
Yeah, he married the Yarborough girl:
Why do you wanna buy the land for?
Married the Yarborough girl: Say, I seem to remember that:
Uh, was that union blessed with any issue?
Uh-
- What did you say? - [William] Have they got any children?
You know, those little objects people get after they're married:
Yeah: Well, I reckon you could say they have in a way:
- Yeah: - May I ask what you mean by that foggy response?
Well, I reckon you could call J: B: A child, if you wanted to:
- J: B:? - J: B:?
- That’s what they call him: - Oh, it's a boy:
- I reckon you might, uh, call him a boy: - Yeah:
How old is he?
J: B: Is nigh on to 10 now:
What a lovable age in a boy:
Where did you say the Dorsets were living now?
- Didn't say: - Down the road a piece:
A little white house with broken windows:
You ain't told us why did you wanna buy the land for:
You know, I find your conversation rather limited, but very stimulating:
- Thank you: - Thanks a lot: Thanks a lot, fellas:
- Hope to see more of ya later: - See you later:
Thanks, son:
[Engine Starting]
Sally Mae, you better lock yourself up in your room until them Yankees get outta town:
Aw, Pa:
What did he say that place was?
A little white house with broken windows:
Oh, yeah:
- [Backfiring] - [Horse Whinnying]
Dinner ready?
Unlessen you wanna wait for J: B:
He's late again:
When'd he go out?
Night 'fore last:
Oughta be gettin' hungry by now:
I'd better set a place for him:
[Vehicle Approaching]
[Backfiring]
Yep, he's home now:
Ebenezer, two men just drove up in a motorcar:
They did?
Well, I'll be:
Now they're puttin' a sack over J: B:'s head:
No:
Now they're totin' him away:
[Backfiring]
They must be strangers:
More than likely:
Set him down over here:
Are you all right, J: B:?
If we untie you, will you promise to behave yourself and not run away?
Did you hear me? I said, did you hear me?
Are you frightened? Hmm:
Well, all right, if you wanna stay tied up:
Now, listen, J: B:
You are in the hands of two desperate men, and you must behave yourself:
- Is that right, William? - Yeah, you better behave yourself:
Yes, you've got- Put that knife away: Put it away:
- William, take that knife away from J: B: - I'd rather you did it:
[Spits]
[Relieved Sigh]
J: B:, William and I have decided you may keep the knife:
- Does that make you happy? - I don't like you:
- [William] What’d you say? - I said, I don't like you:
- J: B:, you mustn't be afraid of us: - We're your friends:
I'm going back downtown and leave a ransom note in your father's mailbox:
And if he pays the little sum we're asking for you: : :
You will be returned home immediately, safe and sound:
Do you understand?
Excuse us a minute, J: B: How much you gonna ask for him?
I intended opening up with a bid of 2,000:
Two thousand? I think you're overestimating this kid's charm:
The trouble with you is you don't understand human nature:
The blacker the sheep, the quicker they bail 'em out:
And if I'm any judge of black sheep: : :
We have come up with a collector's item:
Anybody who'd pay $2,000 for him's out of his mind:
I heard what you said:
I don't like ya, but you're not dumb:
Thank you, J: B: Thank you:
Money isn't everything: I'm convinced 2,000's too much:
Perhaps you're right: I'll cut it to 1,500: I'd better get along:
I'll drop a note in the Dorset mailbox the minute it gets dark:
- How long will you be gone? - Good heavens!
Don't tell me you're afraid to stay here with this child:
Slick, why don't you stay and let William go?
- Very practical idea: - No, it's too late, J: B: Our plans are all made:
Don't you think it'd be better if we tied him up again, and we'll both go?
Look, you just build a fire, give J: B: Something to eat: : :
And make friends with him:
Make friends with him? Just hurry back:
[Scoffs]
[Vehicle Backfiring]
- Eb? - Huh?
A man's puttin' somethin' in the mailbox:
Thought he would:
You want I should go out and fetch it?
Never mind: Morning's soon enough:
[Vehicle Backfiring, Departing]
[Vehicle Approaching, Backfiring]
William, the ransom note has been delivered:
There's nothing to do but await results:
How have you and J: B: Been getting along?
Slick, stay where you are: Don't make any sudden moves:
What's the trouble, William?
If the light were better, you could see that in his left hand, J: B:'s holding my good watch: : :
And in his right hand, a large rock capable of enormous destruction:
Please don't do anything rash:
Now, J: B:, is that any way to act? I ask you-
It won't do any good to talk:
Yes, J: B:
How did he get the watch?
We were having dinner, and suddenly he put a red-hot boiled potato down my back: : :
And mashed it with his foot:
- Why? - We had a slight difference of opinion:
- He wanted me to call him Red Chief: - Red Chief?
Yeah: He wanted to play Indian, and I didn't want to:
I see no reason why you couldn't oblige the little fella, William:
Except that he wanted to scalp me:
Surely, J: B:, there must be another way to play Indian:
Red Chief gotta ride back to reservation:
Warn his people palefaces comin':
Red Chief need horse:
Oh, no, not that:
If William is your horse, will you give him his watch back?
After paleface horse:
I won't do it: I refuse:
I'll speak to him in Indian, J: B:
[Pig Latin]
What paleface say?
William will be your horse, J: B: All right, William:
Slick, stay there:
Horse, right there:
How far is it to the reservation?
Ten miles to the reservation:
Maybe there's a shortcut: Oh! Ow! Slick!
- Get back! No fair! - Keep quiet: Keep quiet:
- Keep still: Keep still: - No fair! No fair!
Now, stay over there:
There you are, William: I got his knife too:
No reason to let a child get the best of you:
- That's true only in theory: - Now, J: B:, we'll have no more of this nonsense:
Paleface lie: Fool Red Chief:
Red Chief never forget: [Slashing Sound]
Something tells me our triumph is only temporary:
- Paleface not dumb: - Thank you, J: B:
Don't you think we oughta tie the kid up before we go to bed?
I've got his knife:
We've hidden every other dangerous weapon around the camp:
What is there to worry about?
Remember what he said before he went to sleep?
Yes, it's nothing: I heard what he said:
- Do you remember? What was it? - Yeah:
He said, "Paleface make'm prayer great white father: Tell him good-bye:"
- And what else did he say? - "Red Chief never forget:"
And you say there's nothing to worry about?
William, if you persist in this attitude, you'll have me worried:
There's enough worry for both of us:
Come, William: Let's get a good night's sleep:
[Snoring]
[Snoring Continues]
"Red Chief never forget:"
[Snorts]
Slick: Slick: Slick!
- Huh? - Wake up: Don’t move:
Show him you're not afraid:
Run, William:
- I can't run far, Slick: - We're going up a tree, William:
- Can bears climb trees? - Here he comes: We'll soon find out:
William, I think it's a cinnamon bear:
I don't care what flavor he is: He's more apt to taste me:
[Snorting]
[Snorting Continues]
Hey, paleface: You want Red Chief to get the bear outta here?
Yes, get him outta here: Get him outta here:
- What will you give me? - You can have your knife back, J: B:
How 'bout your watch, William?
Sure: Gladly: You can have the chain too:
Slick, I'll take your watch too:
Yes, J: B:
- Coming up right away: - Just get him away:
And will both y'all play Indian with me?
- Any-Anything you say, J: B: - Anything: Just get him away:
All right: Go on! Get outta here! Go on!
[War Whooping] Get outta here!
[Yells] Go on! Get outta here! [War Whooping]
Yeah! Go on! Get outta here!
Go on! Get outta here! Get goin' !
Go on! [War Whooping] Go on! Get outta here!
Go on!
All right: You can come down now: We'll play Indian:
Hurry up, or I'll call the bear back:
- Come on! - I'm looking forward to it with great pleasure, J: B:
[Snoring]
- [War Whooping] - Shh: William: Shh:
William, you don't have to war whoop anymore:
He's been asleep for the last five minutes:
Just don't wake him up:
Slick, this has been the worst night of my life:
I don't think I can take any more:
William, you should be ashamed of yourself: : :
Letting a little child break your spirit:
That's enough, Slick: I'll take it from him, but not from you:
- You're just as frightened as I am: - Me, frightened?
Yes, you: He said he'd burn you at the stake at sunrise, and you're afraid he'd do it:
And what's more, he would too: And if I hear you mutter one more of those platitudes-
Shh, shh William, you're right:
I am afraid:
That's better: [Sighs]
If I could only hold out till his father delivers the money: If he does:
- That may be quite a while: - What do you mean, quite a while?
I told him in the note to bring the money at 6:00 tomorrow night:
- Oh, no: - I just wanted to give him time to get it:
What time is it now?
Shall I wake J: B: Up and ask him?
[Backfiring]
William, what on earth is the matter with you?
- That's a silly question: - Where’s J: B:?
Probably out digging worms for our supper:
What happened to your eye?
He did it with a slingshot and a boulder as big as that derby of yours:
I suggest you put the water on your eye, not, uh-
While I was dazed, he pushed me, and I sat in the campfire:
This is the only place where I feel comfortable:
William, what I have to tell you isn't going to make you feel any better:
Don't tell me you didn't get the money:
Here, help me up:
No, William, I didn't get the money:
Slick, forget the 1,500:
Take a thousand, 500: You can take it outta my share:
Look what he did to me:
Yes, I see what you mean: But wait till you hear this:
This is from J: B:'s father: It says, "Gentlemen"-That's us:
"My heart goes out to you:
As a token of my sympathy, I hereby offer you a counterproposition:
- For $250 in cash- - He's crazy:
I will take J: B: Off your hands:"
We won't pay it: We'll just go and leave the little monster here:
I'm afraid he's thought of that, William:
- It says, "For your information, I am the sheriff of this county: : : - Oh, no:
And there is only one road out of where you are now:"
- What'll we do? - "If my proposition interests you gentlemen: : :
I suggest that you bring J: B: Back after dark: : :
As otherwise, the neighbors, who have been celebrating his loss: : :
May do you a harm:
Signed, Ebenezer Dorset:"
Have you ever heard of such rustic, uh, unmitigated impudence?
I think his father's a spendthrift to make such a liberal offer:
- After all, what's $250? - $250?
William, that's every penny we have:
Slick, I beg you, I urge you, I implore you:
It's only money: Please pay it!
All right, William: If you insist:
But, uh, to return J: B: You have to catch him first:
- Now, I suggest- - Shh: Here he comes:
[Slick] Good evening, J: B:
Hi, Slick: You didn't get the money, did ya?
I sure did: I've got it right in here:
- You mean my father paid ya? - He certainly did:
- Let's see: - It's right in here: Look right in there:
There you are: Don't move: You'll get hurt:
- I've got you, J: B: - [Groaning]
- I give up! I give up! Here, William: - Okay:
For me? Thank you, J: B:
William, I've changed my mind about ya:
- You have? That's nice: - I still don't like ya:
- But now I think you're dumb: - Why?
- That stuff you're holding: - You mean these flowers you gave me?
Part of it's flowers, but the rest of it's poison ivy:
Poison ivy? Why, you-
- Just once, please! - No, William: I forbid you-
- I'm gonna get this one time- - William, control yourself:
220, 225, 230-
Pa, I don't wanna stay here:
- I wanna go with 'em: - Ah:
- Twist his arm, Ebenezer: - I'll be good: I'll be good:
235, 240, 245-
Y'all better take another look, mister:
That last five-dollar bill is a one:
- Please, Slick: - Say, you're right, madam:
Thank you for correcting me: 245:
There we are: $250:
Have you folks thought of investing this cash into good, safe prop-
Please, Slick: How far is it to the state line?
- It ain't far: - You think you can hold him?
Well, I ain't as strong as I used to be: : :
But I think I can promise you at least 10 minutes:
We'd be very grateful:
- Good-bye, J: B: - Good-bye, J: B:
Good-bye, Slick: Good-bye, William: I hope I see you again:
There's only a bare chance, J: B:
Don't count on it:
You got a gold mine in that boy:
- Is anybody coming? - Not a sign:
- But don't slow down: - [Backfiring]
Outwitted by a mere child:
You have no brains, and I have no courage:
An unbeatable combination:
Slick, what do we do now?
Get out those little bonanza gold mine certificates:
I wouldn't have the nerve to sell that phony stock now:
Pull yourself together, William:
What is a confidence man without confidence?
At the turn of the century, certain social leaders in New York: : :
Claimed that only 400 people were worth knowing:
In disagreement, O: Henry wrote a volume he called The Four Million:
He thought everybody was worth knowing:
Now the very term "400" is almost forgotten:
But from The Four Million: : :
"The Gift of the Magi" is as fresh and alive as the day it was written:
O: Henry said, "The Magi were the Wise Men: : :
The wonderfully wise men who brought gifts to the babe in the manger:
They invented the art of giving Christmas presents:"
And that invention was still operating when this story begins-
in the year of our Lord, 1905:
(music)[Choir Singing]
(music)[Ends]
- Good morning, Mrs: Young: - Oh, good morning, Mr.Schultz:
- How is your lumbago? - Huh?
- I said, how is your lumbago? - Can't hear you:
My compliments to the cook on this morning's coffee:
Aw, I made the coffee myself this morning:
Cook isn't here today: I gave all the servants the day off:
- It's Christmas Eve, you know: - Oh, yes: So it is:
- And I haven't bought your present yet: - Oh?
- It's just as well, because I've changed my mind again: - Oh?
Yes: I've decided I don't want the diamond tiara:
No, l- I must have a sealskin coat:
You see, it's the only fur I haven't got, and I simply must have it:
All right: I'll buy it right after lunch:
Lunch: I’m glad you mentioned that: Now, tell me the truth:
Aren't you a bit weary of going to Delmonico's every day?
Just this once, wouldn’t you like something from home: : :
Wrapped up in this cunning little box?
- That'd be very nice: - Yeah?
There you have it:
White meat of turkey, brandied cherries: : :
Oh, a bit of chestnut dressing and-
Let me see: Oh, yes: Some of those little ice cakes: : :
You were so fond of on our honeymoon in Paris:
- Della? - Yes?
Is it awful- not having all these things for real?
I have you: : :
And that's for real:
[Clock Chiming]
Quarter past: Well, let's see if St: Benedict's on time this morning:
It's 14 after: He's a whole minute fast:
That gives me one more minute to tell you I love you:
Oh, Jim!
Oh, now, you know I'll just have to put it all up again:
I remember the first time I saw you, just a year ago:
At Mr.Crump's Christmas party:
And I thought, someday, I must take out the pins: : :
And see that hair fall down around her waist:
For that, I'd be willing to marry her:
Why, Mr.Young, what an improper thought:
- Not at all: - Oh, I was so glad I went to that party:
I saw you almost at once, and I thought to myself: : :
If he's married, I shall ask her to give him up:
- Why, Mrs: Young, what an improper thought: - Not at all:
I thought no one would introduce us, so I asked you for the time:
Remember? And you brought out your beautiful watch: : :
And I thought, he must be very rich:
And for one wonderful moment, there was no one at that party but you and me:
No one in the world but you and me:
- You and your wonderful hair: - And you and your wonderful watch:
- It is handsome, isn't it? - The handsomest in New York:
You should have a platinum fob to go with it instead of this leather string:
Jim, why, that solves it!
Your Christmas present: I've been wondering what to get you:
A platinum watch fob with diamonds to match my tiara:
You changed your mind, remember?
- It's a sealskin coat: - Can't we afford both?
It's 26 after: Not unless I get to the office and earn some money:
It'll only take me a second: I'll walk with you as far as the butcher shop:
[Bell Ringing]
How's your lumbago, Mr.Schultz?
It’s better today, thank you: Good morning:
It's your last day: Tomorrow you can stay inside and take care of yourself:
[No Audible Dialogue]
Oh, thank heaven she didn't buy them:
They'd be terrible in her hair:
They once were worn by a Chinese empress:
- Cost $25: - Jim, h-how do you-
I priced them day before yesterday: I thought maybe if they weren't too much-
The diamond tiara will look much better with the sealskin:
Now, come on: You'll be late for work:
Well, what would you like for Christmas dinner?
Now, tell me, aren't you getting a little tired of turkey?
How about a goose stuffed with apples or a duck with orange sauce?
Get whatever you like: Surprise me:
But don't stay on your feet too long: You know what-
Mrs: Schultz said a walk every day was good for me, and she's had seven:
You want something?
Oh, I'd like a pound of ground chuck beef and a half pound of sausage:
Uh, will that be enough to make a meat loaf just for two people?
I suppose so:
(music)[Choir Singing]
Fifty, 75, a dollar, a dollar quarter, a dollar 50:: :
- 60, 75, 80, 85, 86, 87: - (music)[Continues]
What can one do with a dollar and 87 cents?
(music)[Continues]
(music)[Ends]
Yes?
Uh, are you Maurice?
I am:
What can I do for you, madam?
Do you buy hair?
If it's good, yes:
Would you buy mine?
Well, let's have a look at it, madam, right in here:
Sit down:
Oh, madam!
Oh, it is magnificent!
It is beautiful!
Such quality, such beauty, such sheen:
Eh, it is not bad:
I will give you, uh, $20:
Twenty? I need-
Oh, I mean, couldn't you please make it just a little bit more? Say, 22:50?
Twenty is my price for this particular length and thickness:
Take it or leave it:
Well- [Sighs]
Can you- can you cut it quickly so I won't change my mind?
Oh, naturally, madam: Naturally:
Now, let me see:
Now, it is better if you close your eyes:
[Whispering] Say, isn't that clock a little slow?
You're right: That clock's four minutes slow:
- Mr.Young? - Yes, Mr.Crump?
- You show a great deal of interest in the time: - Yes, sir:
Am I to remind you that time is what I'm paying you for, at $17:50 a week?
Yes, sir:
At 54 hours a week, that's nearly 33 cents an hour: : :
Approximately half a cent a minute:
- That's right, sir: - Time, young man, is money:
Christmas Eve here is just December the 24th:
I understand, Mr.Crump:
[Door Opens]
- For two cents, I'd- - [Door Closes]
- How much is two cents? - Four minutes:
I was counting on his letting us off early today:
I've got to get a present for Margaret:
- What are you gonna buy for your wife? - I don't know:
It all depends on the size of our Christmas bonus from old Crump:
I don't think it'll be $500:
Five hundred? [Chuckles] Not likely:
That's what a sealskin coat costs:
Tell me, Bill, why does a woman wanna wear the skin of a seal?
- [Door Opens] - Who knows?
Shh: He's coming back:
Gentlemen, your attention for one moment: [Clears Throat]
I'm sorry to announce that because business has been very poor this year: : :
As you who keep my books must know: : :
There will not be the usual Christmas bonus:
[Clears Throat] However, because I've dispensed with the usual Christmas party: : :
I am adding per capita the cost of that party to your checks:
Each of you will receive- [Clears Throat] An extra three dollars:
Merry Christmas:
[Door Opens, Closes]
[Chuckling]
Cheer up, Jim: For that three dollars: : :
You can buy her one sealskin earmuff:
Genuine platinum:
He is pretty, nein? For your husband?
He is quiet, but he's of real value:
Yes, that describes him exactly:
Oh! Oh, I thought you meant Jim, my husband:
Maybe I did:
He must be a good man if you marry him:
Oh, thank you:
It's the only fob I've ever seen that's as beautiful as his watch:
It's not just an ordinary watch:
It was his father's and his grandfather's: : :
And it will be handed on down to-
That is, if we have a son:
And you will: You will have a boy:
This fob, it'll bring you luck, I bet you:
Mr.Menkie, all I have is 21 dollars and 87 cents: : :
But I do so want to take the fob home with me tonight:
Could l- Could I pay you the rest later?
What is this "later"?
Do you think I'm squeezing blood out of a stone?
[Chuckles]
For you: : : I make a special price:
Twenty dollars:
Oh, Mr.Menkie!
Oh, thank you! Thank you!
(music)[Choir Singing]
Mr.Schultz, did I wish you a merry Christmas?
- I don't know: Maybe: I think so: - Well, I want to:
I want everyone to have a merry Christmas, even Santa Claus:
- (music)[Ends] - God bless you:
[Gasps]
[Heavy Sigh]
Oh, dear God, let him still love me:
Please let him still love me:
(music)[Choir Singing]
[Chattering]
- Say, where's Jim? Jim, come on: - I haven't seen him:
We're going to Clancy's Saloon and have a hot-buttered rum:
- No, thanks, fellas: - Come on: It's Christmas Eve:
No, my wife's alone: She worries if I'm late:
- Merry Christmas! - Merry Christmas to you:
Poor fella henpecked, isn't he?
- Did you ever see his wife? - No:
You should be henpecked so nice:
(music)[Continues]
(music)[Ends]
(music)[Jim Singing]
(music)[Humming]
(music)[Singing Resumes]
(music)[Humming]
(music)[Singing Resumes]
- (music)[Ends] - [Door Opens]
Hello:
- Don’t turn it- - Why not?
Oh, Jim, don't look at me that way:
It'll grow out again: You know how fast my hair grows:
But- But what-
I cut it off and sold it: : :
Because I couldn't have lived through Christmas without giving you a present:
You cut off your hair?
Yes: And sold it:
But it doesn't matter so much, does it, Jim?
I'm still me without my hair:
I can't believe it:
Your hair-
l-It's gone:
You needn't look for it, Jim: It's sold, I tell you:
Oh, Jim, tell me it doesn't matter:
Tell me I look all right: Even if you don't mean it, tell me:
Oh, say "merry Christmas" and open your present, darling:
Why, it's all right, darling: It- It looks- looks fine:
It'd take more than a haircut to make me love my girl any less:
- Honestly? - Honestly:
I, uh- l-
I stopped on my way home and: : : Bought something for you:
Oh, Jim!
They're not-
Why, my hair grows so fast, Jim:
By spring I can wear them:
Oh, but- but you haven't opened your present, darling:
Isn't it beautiful? You'll have to look at your watch a hundred times a day now:
Put it on: Put it on, and let's see:
Della, darling, why don't we put our Christmas presents away for a while?
They're much too nice to use just now:
You see, I sold the watch to buy you the combs:
Oh, Jim!
(music)[Choir Singing]
- (music)[Continues] - [Bell Ringing]
(music)[Ends]
(music)[New Song]
(music)[Continues]
(music)[Ends]
{{{the end}}}